In the last few weeks I have had some serious ups and serious downs. I have had some great successes AND failures along the way....
Hmmm....where to begin?!
I have always believed that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. No one may ever understand the specific reason....but they do happen for a reason. The last few weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster and began some self reflection. Normally I welcome these phases in life where I get a chance to look inside myself and start thinking about who I am, etc. However, this particular phase....I felt tossed into a whirlwind of major obstacles and was rather pissed off about it.
My life has always had "more than your fair share" of obstacles. Therefore, I'm not extremely surprised that I continue to have them....I guess I am just tired of having so many. Now that I look back....it has been pretty much non-stop for the last two months. Our obstacles range from the computer speakers dying to being on the verge of homelessness. For the first time in my life....I can truly say that I have learned the meaning of despair (to lose all hope or confidence, ty Merriam Webster online lol). Many things are left unfixed....but (thanks to a dear & amazing friend)....we are not homeless!
I have found myself questioning WHY in the last few months...as I'm sure many of us do in difficult times. I had thoughts such as - "I am a good person, why is this happening to me?" or "My kids don't deserve this, why is this happening to them?" Well, I have no answers to either question. However, we have survived and are learning things about ourselves and each other. For example, I have learned that the lessons that I am learning have much to do with self management....things like managing finances, managing time, managing my own will power, etc. I also had the realization that my children were born to me for a reason....it is part of their path so no matter how much I feel they don't deserve the things that are happening....I know that it is part of their journey as well.
For now, I must end this blog post because I have a headache and bedtime is near. However, I will close with one particular statement that has been on my mind through all of this....
"Life was never promised to be easy....the only promise made was that it would be worth it!"